Do ugly people know they are ugly?
The quiet ones do.
so, just learned that EVERYONE heard pretty much everything last night. my roommates were surprised to learn you're a dirty talker.
guess they didn't have any donuts in her size.
you have to give me like a days notice for these kinds of things, you cant just call at 9 am and expect me to be sober
Are you really this nice or are you just trying to get in my pants?
Both?
I have three paper towels stuck up my vagina. This is not a time to be calm.
Is it bad that all my wine bottles have teeth marks in the cork?
I'm a sociology major remember
Well that and comm
Basically you majored in how to get laid
So did I or did I not flash an entire concert last night?
I'm currently giving my drug dealer relationship advice. He's a nice guy and all but I'm really just hoping I get some free weed
Smoking a bowl in nothing but a flamingo thong.
I told her to to let go of her rationtal thoughts and just enjoy the fact that i was going down on her till she passed out from sheer orgasmic pleasure.
So I thought you might like to hear how I went to sams club to print some pictures and suddenly there was 20 pictures of your dick and my snatch on the screen
I need you to sex the hangover out of me again.
That's true. Ask me when I'm not fucked up. Nvm hold on. Btw. Wikipedia dinosaur. It's fascinating
Randomize
