literally had 100 drinks last night.
I stood up and a chip flew out of my shirt and landed in the chip dish. I just walked away.
Three 40's of Mickeys, is no excuse to be naked at Baskin Robins.
woke up on my stairs with half a hot dog beside me and the last text I sent was "i make hot dog in toasTer" .
She was sitting there stuffing her face rubbing my back with a dorito cheese filled hand while eating something else with the other hand as I was crying.
I blacked out after the shots of canned lobster bisque.
Ya. I was the definition of a shit show. I woke up outside my door when my alarm went off
There is a large, jolly black gentleman in the parking lot of my appartment complex yelling about 5am jelly doughnuts. I want to be where he's at.
I figured you left because I was a shit show. Were you still there when I got locked in the bathroom and didn't know where I was? If not, that could have been a dream. I'm still not sure.
I JUST WANT TO HAVE MILDLY SOCIALLY ACCEPTABLE SEX WITH HIM AND CALL HIM CUPCAKE.
That moment when you see yourself in a security camera feed and realize you forgot a bra. And pants.
I can always pull a half day at work too. My boss makes exceptions for drug use. Lol. I fucking love my job.
I think I'm at a stage of my life where I subconsciously purposefully fuck everything up just to see if I can find a way out of it.
I'm the girl holding the bag of goldfish
From now on I'd like to be known as Rampage.
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