I just came out of my doctor's office and i look into the window and i see a guy sitting in the front seat getting head.
why are you so shocked? you live in brooklyn.
Facebook lets you pick usernames now. You'd better log on and get yours before homewreckingwhore is taken...
oh yeah I'm gonna practice throwing up so I can be ready for Friday night. and Saturday. Beth is back, diaper and all.
well most of my day revolves around power hour
Like what kind of adult things? Whats more adult than drinking at 2pm on a monday?
Lost my credit card. M has a bottle of blood in her pocket from a hobo.
Told some chick I'm a virgin, on my way to her house as I type this. Debating crying afterwards to fuck with her head.
Well good for him for getting your number before he told you he had no money and needed you to pay for his drink!
Just heard a girl ask "Wait you're not my boyfriend?!" to a guy wearing the Mickey to her Minnie Mouse on my way home. Made me feel better about myself.
I mean, it was a fun hookup and he's cute and whatnot, but he wouldn't go down on me. Plus he's a republican. Idk why but those things feel like they go hand in hand.
oh, i solved that problem. i told him i wanted to steal my roommate's nephew. radio silence. haven't heard from him since.
Liquor has joined the party. Aly just fucking yelled "I LOVE COOKING" and poured margarita mixer, ice and tequila into the blender.
Self care is breaking into nasa and launching yourself directly into the fucking void
I was afraid I was gonna get a URI, so I peed on his front porch.
I don't know why this person would ask for help. It sounds pretty OK to me. Also, I'd steal those bagpipes.
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