I have a new suitor he got my # last nite... I was to tipsy to function! What was I thinking!! It's like u when u first met me
why do all the strippers look like they came from fraggle rock
all i know is that they all tuched my pee cup last night.
she texted him the burrito order while she was puking in the Del Taco parking lot...
Yeah she is in it for the money, wait til she finds out i am broke and the sex doesnt get better
using the left over highlighters from the blacklight party to study for finals. feeling the need to write insert penis here on my econ notes.
Stop selling my mother weed! She's annoying as hell when she's stoned.
i like him when i'm sober AND when i'm drunk.i've been searching for this my whole life
Dude you couldnt even talk, you just kept hiccuping and slamming your head on the wall.
I cant shower it involves moving...
Just lay there and turn the water on. At least rinse off the shame.
We were messing around at his place it was going fine until he said, "I'm going to cum, hand me the shot glass"
I'll feed you vitamin c from my mouth this weekend. Like a baby bird.
Promise??
Impressive. I've never gotten straight denied and then chased the guy naked out of my own apt. I'll remember that next time.
As we have told you before, the first rule of hook-up bingo is we don't talk about hook-up bingo
i literally have the attention span of a weasel on steroids, but yeah, i know who you’re talking about.
Randomize
