1. Call me if you need ANYTHING. 2. If you get tag teamed, I want details.
wrong asian. never thought that would happen.
please tell me you remember why "7 days" is written above my bed in red marker
not only did i manage to get kicked out of the bar, i also got kicked out of denny's. i didnt even know that was possible.
It is 3am. I'm at a pizzeria with my 4 friends. The one to my right is throwing up on herself, the one to my left is crying hysterically by herself, the one in front of me is passed out on the table, and the other is trying to find a taxi and I'm pretty sure a guy is sticking his hand up her skirt. Tourists are taking pictures. Help me.
The crowning achievement of my weekend was hooking up with someone I'm at least facebook friends with.
We just saw him running from campus police a few minutes ago. So no, I don't think he's still passed out on the quad.
I don't care what anyone says I want strippers at my funeral.
i just saw you make out with a girl with facial hair...just thought i would document that in case you forgot
Wait, is this the kid that tried catching a bat in your backyard with a flashlight and a ball of tin foil?
Pizza toast. It's like pizza but on toast. BC we are broke. OMG its so good.
You would never do this sober.
I gave him head while despicable me 2 played in the background. I think I disappointed the minions
All my female reproductive organs were screaming HELL YES last night.
This is a mass text. Who in the hell shat on my stairs last night?
I feel like the physical embodiment of the pot leaf eyes smiley face
Randomize
