I just needed to know whether or not to wear panties to work tomorrow.
they have pregnancy tests at the dollar store
I feel like that is one of those things that you should not cheap out on.
My history teacher just took his shirt off cuz the classroom was to hot. And then he invited us all to join him.
Bad news is he broke up with me via text message
But the good news is I've returned as mayor of whoreville
she just built a cabin out of hotdogs and cooked it in the microwave.
now she is shaking the plate and mumbling "this is what california must feel like"
I have a music final in an hour so I put all the classical songs we need to know in a shower power hour playlist, beer included.
Update is I am officially king of Gettysburg. Tam and I are being threaded like royakt. In bought e ruined a drink
You kept asking the bartender if you could "buy a dollar".
He said it was fake. Like really? Hey baby, I wanna sleep with you, so here's a picture of a fake tiny dick
In her defense, she didn't know I had a twin brother. Plus, we're even: I banged her sister.
I barely trust you with my tinder, why would I let you take the staples out of my head?!
I found three naked dudes in your bed this morning. Did we have a really weird break in or do you need to tell me something?
there's a bowling ball in the dishwasher and a dog bone in the freezer
Come on baby if you haven't had a Charleston chew eatin out of your ass you just ain't livin right.
Last night was a bad idea. I'm hungover and the contents of my purse smell like Korean BBQ.
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