My professor really needs to stop abbreviating. I'll never remember what "Fun. Anal. Trade-offs?" means when i study.
I bet the first cavemant to make fire got so much pussy
I sharted during my first quiz and I couldn't leave, I went ahead and took the rest of the day off.
On this egg donor form, it asks "In the past 5 years, have you had sex for drugs or money?" It only gives a yes or no option and no place to explain myself. What do I do?
I can only be a whore so many days outta the week.
Samesies
we went through the mcdonalds drive through and you asked for a free sample of their fries to see how you liked them.
The guy in the library beside me just whipped out an entire loaf of bread, a knife and a container of peanut butter and is proceeding to make multiple sandwiches.
he said i looked like a lion with slutty lingerie on .
So I feel like I should feel objectified by your comment about my boobs but instead I just feel proud. 21ST CENTURY FEMINISM, BABY
Why did you fed-x me a peanut butter sandwich?
It seemed like the thing to do. There's popcorn on it too.
STOP smoking sooo much weed. Damn
Does your body have a liquid mass index? does that make sense? I think I drank it in Long islands.. Kill me now..
Then he kissed my hand sensually and said "you're a Black Queen. Don't let anyone tell you different."
You then played what you called "a smooth jazz rendition of talk dirty to me" all thrusting your crotch at the bartender. Mom looked horrified, but my dad couldn't stop laughing
It's funny when you can't take a fishing boat because you fucked the captains wife
I swam, I rode a bicycle, I rode a horse, I danced. It was like a real life tampon advert.
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