Apparently when you order 'bottomless fries' at red robin that doesnt mean you can go around to every table and eat all the fries you want off other peoples plates.
i also saw a trio of peacocks walking along a sidewalk in hollywood today. i really hope im not tripping.
you lied vaginas dont taste like gold fish!
noo i said youre golden if her vagina tastes like fish!
Coffee is gods way of saying go ahead, get absolutly trashed on weeknights, I got your back
The lesbians are drunkenly meowing in the hallway again. This is the shit I'll miss at home.
I was cleaning out my bag and I found some xanax wrapped in plastic with a note that said "use in case of emergency"
there is a time and a place for ass-grabbing and that was not it.
Last thing I remember was you straddling a guy in a wheelchair on the dance floor.
Sudden realization: I dumped him because he was too immature, yet I am the one who moved back into my parent's basement post-breakup.
if by "adventure" you actually mean "getting ridiculously high and shaving our legs," then yes.
I may, or may not have licked his face in an Applebee's.
Shame?!? Shame only comes from getting naked in front of strangers and it not being awesome
Well, maybe we can talk about it over a drink and some crushed up vicodin.
Im wearing a bra. Made of paint.
Just had a flashback of scottish man yellin' at my face. What the fuck I did?
Randomize
