I just pynch a tree in the face
I didnt pay $190 for a fake with a new middle name of Vane..
Last day of classes. 1st day attending every class. I'm proud of myself
Well, if your day started with strippers, then we're tied. Otheriwse, I'm winning.
Ok...drunk girls at the bar are charging $1 for motorboating. It's fucking WEDNESDAY. I never want to leave.
I woke up with my bra stapled to the ceiling, her dad was in the hallway winking at me. I was the less drunk of the bunch.
Be careful. Don't drive if your body turns into a caterpillar again.
all i remember of last night is that i was drinking jameson and then NOTHING i do remember walking a dog though\nwhich is sooo fucking weird
OH MY GOD ITS COMING BACK I PUT THE DOG IN THE HOTTUB TOO
I drank all the drinks. And jump off roof. Yay
I AM HANGING OUT WITH ADORABLE DOGS SURROUNDED BY NATURE. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND ALSO BYE CIVILIZATION AND PANTS.
Are you at a park?
he cock-blocks himself, don't try to make excuses for him!
Ur dad just showed me a tit pic he got omf
I had a dream that you were telling me how good you are at parkour and legit you were doing it just like Michael Scott...
You took your pants and underwear off as soon as we got to Melissa's and just walked around the entire time like it was completely normal. We even ate pizza together with your vagina exposed. You're my hero.
You remember my neighbor with the perfect ass? It's even better in assless chaps.
Randomize
