Tears do usually get me what I want. That and oral sex.
he was uncircumcised...I HAVE NOT YET REACHED THAT SKILL LEVEL OF DICK
Clearly I understand physics better when I'm on cocaine
I have a music final in an hour so I put all the classical songs we need to know in a shower power hour playlist, beer included.
There is a slip-n-slide in the hallway and a girl just did it topless cuz I told her it was my birthday. Where are you?
He's like a perfect storm of amazing hair and horrible judgment.
at one point i was feeding a guy sour cream chips and he made me make the "choo choo" noise as they were going in. \ni feel so much closer to him now.\n
I dont think that yelling at the medic "Christmas is gone, fuck off santa" was the best idea when you couldnt feel your legs.
When I said 'i love my boyfriend' I didn't mean 'send me a picture of your penis'.
Fun new game when high: sorting socks. Took forever. Was awesome.
SORRY! Pervert came out for a bit. BAD PERVERT! BACK IN YOUR HOME!
Instead of getting a taxi some gay black guy drove us home. He is trying to break into the taxi business
Way to promote small business.
You better keep a close eye on your uterus tonight cause I am looking good.
Yeah. I mean it wasn't that awkward. I just made conversation like there was absolutely no lack of pants.
you ripped my door off of the hinges, kicked it in half and then proceeded to throw it down the stairs because i wouldn't make you a cheese burger
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