Where are you?
In a non slutty way
everyone is single if you try hard enough
Okay I've seen like three girls walking around crying today. Weird?
everyone's regretting their thursdays.
The sun is out and the snow is finally starting to melt here... Vodka bottles keep popping up everywhere. Guess it's the college version of burying nuts for the winter
I am drunk at a castle and it isn't even 3. Europe is amazing.
If I was there, I'd make you a vicodin spiked sandwich.
Hey did where's my bong?
In the tree out back .... Top branch on the right
Should I bother to ask?
Unless you've also woken up wearing a poncho and a ring pop, I suggest you don't judge me. Okay, I even judged myself for that.
I was late because I helped this old romanian lady mow her lawn at 2AM.
That freshman kid successfully snuck into a college party, got caught, proceeded to jump out of a second story window without getting a scratch then met up with us a block away and somehow managed to get a bottle of grey goose in the meantime. He is truly blessed by the alcohol gods
Definitely! I will do that this week. Right now, watching drag queens play with my dad's beard.
LESSON OF THE DAY: Saying Everclear gets you out of explaining anything.
This was the first funeral I've ever attended where I had to pee behind a bush cuz someone was passed-out drunk in the locked bathroom. Steve would have been proud.
I'm seeing how far I can grow my leg hair out before Jason will say anything. I'm up to an inch
Just made a drug contact standing in the sandwich line in the dining hall. Is this real life?
You're my fucking hero.
Randomize
