Tonight has been like a good ass fucking high school movie
he told me it was a naked video of him so i opened it. i just got rickrolled while sexting
turns out they were just sand fleas, not crabs.. thank you random mexican girl from padre who's name i can't pronounce
what date should I let him know how fucked up I am?
i never thought it was possible to fit gay, redneck and asian into the same sentence before i met you.
and this wasn't even the first one i'd hooked up with
Maybe not, but you have to admit watching him get hit by the car was gratifying
You know how girls with huge tits have back problems? Do you get knee problems or something?
Its fiiine, tuesday is like the thursday of wine wednesday. And i mean, free beer for girls at the grove...im not NOT gonna take that offer up!
Look at your life. Look at your choices.
Going to be a long day. text me later. Sorry I puked in your sink.
I sent dad a photo of my graduation certificate from drug therapy class. It was his birthday so it seemed appropriate.
And after we debated politics. My dream come true: naked, just got done having great sex with a hot mixed guy, talking about why social welfare programs are a bad idea
FINE YOU CAN EAT HOT WINGS WHILE WE HAVE SEX
I'm sure nobody at Walmart was wondering why I was wearing a glittery tutu and needed $300 changed into small bills
last night we watched this really loud chick try and pick up this smoking french guy who's english was sooo bad. she finally pointed at her beer and then her vagine
gross
like you've never done an interperative dance for sex, please
The best thing about last night is when drunk Lauren asked cop if she could smoke a joint in front of him. And next thing I remember she’s smoking weed with a cop. How awesome is that.
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