I want to take things slow emotionally, but fast physically
i'm the matthew mcconaghey of this party. i'm too old, and too high.
This was all being yelled across a beer pong table as all important things should be discussed
she texted him the burrito order while she was puking in the Del Taco parking lot...
They're like penises that have been put in a blender.
Got a stripper to howl at my wolf shirt.
You are softly singing to the wall while slow dancing with it. I feel as though you should discontinue this behavior.
Hope your thanksgiving is a complete blowjob festival.
For Halloween this year I'm going to paint myself in gold, wear a golden toga and sash saying " cunt goddess"
I'm scared because his knowledge of star trek is turning me on
I just borrowed porn from my middle aged mother. This is what desperate looks like.
He left cushions on my floor, chocolate on my bra and unexplained scratches on my thighs. I think this one might get a second date.
I don't know if I'm dying or this is just a mild inconvenience
I am just High Enough to train A-Team of bodybuilding squirrels MMA techniques to tear you asunder. And it's not that I want to is just don't you make me do it!
My fuck it list is complete! I finally got a firefighter!
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