Somerville?? What the hell are you going to do there?
Watch a movie and have sloppy make outs OBVI. 45 Harris St. in case I die.
Anything crazier than usual happen? I woke up in a stairway with my cock out.
You asked the dj to play 'who let the dogs out" because it was your birthday. You left the bar and then re-entered to the song
just got high and bedazzled my bra. other than bleeding from the prongs life is so good.
Showering in the handicapped shower. Im THAT hungover.
you were on ground yelling about how close the floor was to your face.
That's fun. I just masturbated and I swear my vagina creaked.
Please stop hiding condoms in my house. If I want to have sex with you, I will let you know. FYI, my mom found the ones hidden behind the milk. She was not happy.
Dude he was a used car salesman for his friends' penises. I know I have something here that's right for you!
I ripped my favorite jeans crossing that fence
That sucks
It's an upgrade! I didn;t even have to unzip my pants to pee!
No, the moral of my Oxford interview was "Never snort caffeine pills".
Thanks for the Beyonce article. In other news, I just passed a man with the state of Florida tattooed on his face.
Long story short if you're going to get drunk on a sailboat at night leave your phone in the car.
Not sure how my purse ended up in the bushes last night... Or why there was a noodle strainer in the toilet.
I woke up with sticky red stuff all over my sheets, face, and chest. Apparently after I blacked out I thought eating ribs in bed was a good idea
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