in my opinion joe jonas is kinda pointless. hes just the pretty boy front runner.
Should I ask him to prom mid fuck? That way he has to say yes.
I wish that vaginas would just grow when you're ready for sex. Like when you dont need your vagina its not there, but when you need it...BAM its there. then no one would see it when you get drunk
yeah...or you could just stop doing cartwheels in skirts
You just kept rubbing her head and repeating "I really like your head, I want your head..." over and over for like 10 minutes straight... And she didnt even stop you.
I smelled my fingers after she left and they smelt like sugar cookies. I want that one again.
He was supposed to take me to a nice dinner, but istead all he did was get drunk and throw lit fireworks at me.
So i'm in a museum and theres a punch bowl from 1765 with a picture of 3 men forcing the 4th to drink the punch bowl. Colonial hazing
She makes me want to eat babies and throw kittens in pots of boiling water.
I'm convinced that college is the only place where one can have an existential crisis over what sweatpants to wear
She had sex in a public bathroom and slept on a couch in the dorm lobby. It's only Monday
I really have to stop having sex with people I sell drugs to...it feels unprofessional
I hope you get eaten by satanic starfish.
I'm sorry, that really sucks. I'm in the bath eating lasagna and if anyone comes in here it's going to be bad news for them
Is there such thing as dick sucking teeth guards?
They're doing CPR to someone in the middle of Victoria's Secret. Way to block the undies, damnit!
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