Just saw an Asian guy riding his razor scooter to class. Dreams do come true
Michael Bay is the white Tyler Perry.
The walk of shame has never felt more glorious... I think it's the somberero
she made my bed before she left. i think i'm gonna keep banging her to get the housework done
Valium party in the driveway. Attendance: 1. Don't make me do this alone.
He sent a pic, I sent one back. Then nothing. It's like we sext-messaged goodbye and ended the relationship.
And by "got a tattoo" i mean i got a tattoo in the dorm bathrooms with a guy using his cousin's tattoo gun.
My three rules on what I'm wearing tonight. Something short, something see through, and something i had sex in.
He's like Medusa, you can't look directly into his eyes or you'll turn into a slut.
Dammit labor day drinking cancelled due to 3 inch long table saw cut to palm
hell or highwater he WILL get a blowjob in the hammock before the end of summer.
I walked out in my coconut bra, and that's when it all went downhill.
Oh, the accent alone guaranteed a bj. It was when he started drunkenly singing in PERFECT PITCH that I knew I was fucking him.
i really love you but i feel kinda dumb about it
I love friends. Friendship is wonderful. I wish the rain was my friend
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