The good thing about walking home in a dress on sunday morning is that people mistake my walk of shame as a walk to God.
it was beautiful and magic like when a hot girl grabs her own tits and smiles at you
I have my period so I felt bad and blew him with cash cab in the background. I wanted to yell out the answers but my mouth was full.
I just saw grafitti that read "Mug The Fart Eater". Really, Memphis? That's all you've got?
Yeah..And after he fingered me, he wiped it on my face and laughed.
ew wtf
he told me he had a problem with me going both ways. like what the fuck. what guy says that to a girl? goodbye planned threesomes...
so I'm in athletic shorts, a suit jacket and I'm still drunk at 6:30am at the last leg of relay for life
Your remote is drenched in lotion and you expect me to believe you weren't masturbating?!
the girl walking home behind me started yelling and pointing "i want an ass like hers!" i feel vaguely accomplished.
I AM THERE IN SPIRIT, TICKLING YOUR BALLS
Proudest moment of my life. Just watched a guy walk into the side of a car because I winked at him. Love these yoga pants and my hair. Fuck yes. His mouth was hanging open.
if the furniture in my bedroom wasn't shape shifting... this would be a different story.
Needless to say, I woke up on the bathroom floor wearing the dress that my mom wore to the wedding. That open bar stole my soul.
Bjs and tacos. That's my life.
Cockblock successful. That's for pouring nacho cheese on my flatscreen, asshole.
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