oh good, I think they're gone
the painters?
my herpes
I am only moving my arms so I remember that I can. These brownies are wild.
Hold on there are flying pancakes I can't handle this right now
you made sure you came back for your bottle of vodka but didn't remember to take your shoes
Important info for allergy season. An orgasm will unblock stuffy sinuses.
We were on the balcony tossing jello shots to people passing below
When people said no i'd yell "i tried them i promise they aren't roofied!"
My liver hurts and I just woke up from my first sleep in two days
Sounds like the perfect vacation
It's not really the holidays until I raid the medicine cabinet. Happy hydrocodone to me
And a merry methadone to all
His ass WILL be my cock's next vacation home.
I wish I had a dick so I could say shit like that.
This guy at the airport was telling me 3/4 dudes in his group got rufied at some strip club. One guy woke up in the hospital, another found himself in a random parking garage, the other got back to the room and they all shit their pants. Go Vegas.
Running my fingers through my hair is like that scene from Patch Adams where the girl goes swimming in a pool of spaghetti. I love molly.
He jizzed all over my ID badge. HR is gonna be pissed...
You're emotionally mature, right? I said you were.
I have at least four things in my line of sight that have Kermit the Frog on them in my dorm. Does that answer your question?
i need something from you. video yourself doing naked jumping jacks and send it to me. it will make me smile
He kept saying "i'm lost" while he was sitting on his couch...
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