Just used your umbrella as a puke sheild. Thanks man.
when he was about to finish he told me to avert my eyes and keep my lady parts away. chivalry isnt dead.
This summer isn't about fun. We have to train our livers to survive the next four years.
We're not on Beacon Street anymore so now your argument about not peeing on the sidewalk holds no water. Whereas my bladder has holded every water.
YOU'RE FORCING ME TO BLOW A GUY BY NOT ANSWERING MY CALLS
If I get to the point of singing Man of Constant Sorrow then please god let me do it, record it, then cut me off.
I'm on a treadmill at the gym ordering pizza on my phone so it'll get to my house around the time I get home. I NEED HELP. Or I'm a genius. I haven't decided.
I CAN FEEL MY HEART BEATING MY WHOLE BODY
I'm taking a shit break of discontent as a personal protest
But I'm currently thinking of all my bad decision making last night and giving myself a time out.
Stop acting like the Lucky Charms you're feeding people is actually ecstasy.
should i be that dick who brings a carpet in an uberpool
Why are you moving a carpet?
it's unimportant
Tomorrow I'm going to tape my thumbs to my palms and my biceps to my abdomen to learn what it's like to be a t-rex for a day. Anyone else in?
Sorry I totally pulled a home invasion on you last night
That was super inconsiderate of me
Highlight of the day: got a bunch of drunks to sing baby shark.
Randomize
