We discussed how the marijuana was making the dopamine float around our nucleus accumbens last night when we were high. Yet another example of how our science classes are perverting our good times.
I don't even have to turn the heat on in my car. Just fart the whole way home.
Also, we should really buy some bandaids. Right now I'm using toilet paper and scotch tape, but I don't really think that's sanitary.
When you wake up in your dorm right outside your room with the key in the door, then you will understand my pain.
Went to anytime fitness at 3:34 am drunk after the the bar and getting whataburger. Lifted weights with my cheeseburger between my knees. That's called DEDICATION.
Can you pick me up a bottle of make-an-ass-of-myself tonight?
Do you want cuervo gold or silver?
I'm about to initiate a game of drunk UNO.
Drunk UNO has officially been banned from now until forever.
well, at the moment I'm sleeping in someone's closet in a buzzlightyear snuggie, so I can't judge,
Why am I not blowing coke off your ass at my apartment?
I mean, except for the part where I was vomiting up pineapple and hot sauce, it was a really fun time.
Whatcha doing tonight? Reply TURNUP if you are drinking, or STOP to cancel messages
I think I puked in the middle of sex last night if that's any indication as to how drunk I was.
I s2g I’m about to get ghosted by a 34 yr old and my Oedipus complex cannot take it
No way man ... This is real life. Complete sentences and everything.
in the past 2 days I've ruined2-3 lives, made 2 men quit the bar, started a Wednesdays only affair, ended it, ruined that engagement and had my tires slashed by a jealous bouncer. please stop letting me out....
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