Hey dude. Went to the hospital. Call me when you get up
that drag queen yelled at him and touched me to make him jealous and said things like this is what a real man feels like. it was a thrill.
I thought we agreed, no more super glueing action figures to my dick
Also I climbed atop a mailbox with a toilet paper hat and a wolverine claw made of glowsticks, screaming at passers-by that they were going to die. Control me
At some point last night Lemondrops turned into me doing shots of vodka and eating sugar packets at the bar.
Yea i think drunk-me kept all my bar receipts, just to throw it in sober-me's face.
Sidenote: do you recall your "give me the d" chant
I think it's god's punishment for my behavior in Vegas . Lies were told. Angels were defiled. Pools were pissed in
You sternly pointed at him and declared that you would ride his cock until the early dawn.
Then, you ate a turkey sub, went into his room
His arresting officer when they were busting up the squat party recognized him from the anti-drone protest. He was like Jesus kid, you were sober last time.
Apparently he walked into the room and started yelling at some huge hairy dude to get out of my room. Except it wasn't my room... Because he was on the fourth floor.
Blowing a married man is so much more important than a 12 year olds basketball game.
I don't think I'm gonna survive today. I don't remember how to walk. I must crawl 6 blocks to my bed.
New drinking game, drink every time Rhianna says "Work" in her new song.
He fucked me so hard my contacts fell out! Didnt know that was possible.
Randomize
