Don't cheat on me with the blonde bimbo religi freak
I wouldn't touch her with a ten foot pole
She's blonde
Another weekend, another 3 guys I have to awkwardly avoid while crossing campus...
i went to a real vip club. the bathroom attendant was wiping down counters after girls wearing gucci did lines of coke on them. where did MY life go wrong
What was your penis's nickname in high school? Also, what was it's theme song?
Oh god I can't handle any more dudes. I just walk of shamed to work wearing a guy's boxers and a life jacket. This summer is going to kill me.
got my wristband ripped off, was told i can only be served water. please find me, i'll be running through the fountain
If the blood belongs to whoever dumped glitter all over my couch than the motherfucker got what was coming to them. If not, I hope they're ok.
UPDATE: WE WILL BE HITTING THE BATMAN PINATA WITH A SWORD
In the wise words of Scar: "be prepared."
Do you think Scar was a Boy Scout?
NATIONAL GIVE A BOSTON COP A BLOW JOB BITCH ROAD TRIP NOW
She just got on the scale. frowned, got off and took off her pants and then got back on
He's all enlightened and liberal. My next beefcake will be much more Neanderthal.
There's always a silver lining when massive voluptuous tits are involved
I just did a walk of shame on my own block. one of the old neighbors saw and greeted me "good morning, girl next door"
Somehow I woke up next to the bouncer who kicked us out of the bar last night...
Randomize
