it was 5AM and you were field goal kicking solo cups into the sink
my Prof for my bio lab has his lab coat collar popped. it's 8 am and im too hungover for this guy
How do u explain cocaine to a 9 year old?
It wasn't until i was on my knees with three dicks in my face that i thought it might be a bad idea
So i was told that i peed in the sink, had sex with a pillow and banged on a washer while singing idian chants
Just woke up from a dream where you lived in a gingerbread house on a snowy cliff by the sea. The dolphins were swimming away from a giant dust storm. You REALLY ought to smoke this before bed tonight.
Dave, I love you but you're barking up the wrong lesbian. You sir are the competition. You don't threesome with competition.
You know how I said I'd never worry about my roommate? Well I just walked in on her masturbating to Star Trek.
Did she boldly cum where no one has cum before?
What kind of scumbag goes to a baby's 1st birthday party with a black eye? This kind. Me. I'm disgraceful.
Somehow I got food poisoning AND alcohol poisoning in the same night. Its like everything I love is trying to kill me. I'm waiting for my tv to make its move.
She told me she loved my new hairstyle. I told her its called head head.
Butt Stuff 2016 unites us all
Currently tripping balls and watching Pink Floyd the wall and I'm crying during it. If this isn't a self realization then I don't know what to tell you.
Yesterday I went home with one shoe, today I go home with three. Fucking win.
I need an honest answer, no judgements. Would it make me a bad person if I fucked the other twin?
Randomize
