Omg. Budweiser tramp-stamp sighting @ Wal-mart. Best tattoo EVAR.
The problem is he wears abercrombie jeans like there's nothing wrong with it
Hemmingway ran to paris to avoid going to the university of illinois and becoming a doctor. It was there he developed a drinking problem. I need a plane ticket.
I just found 3 condoms in my math textbook... in the probability section... Under dependent and independent events...
been home a week and haven't blacked out yet. i miss college
he locked me out then poked me with a fork when i tried to get in through the window
But he buys me breakfast and goes down on me THATS HARD TO FIND
I've decided he is effectively a mouth, hands and cock held together by bad ideas and compliments, and I'm OK with that.
The things I do for you. Not that I'm unhappy about it. I'm just saying you should love me.
Did you sleep with him again?
No! I just led him to believe that I would if he gets me booze. Do I have that little class that you have such minimal faith in me?
I woke up today in my boxers hugging a log and realized that I think I've gotten close enough to nature. I really need to stop doing shrooms with you
Like I'm sorry but "it'll be fine trust me" IS NOT VERY REASSURING ASSHAT. Now take off your pants.
He's gonna be so upset when he get's a real job and can't do serious drugs.
I think the lady at jack in the box started crying when we put in our order.
Rough day
Good thing I've started drinking again
A true gentleman never tells. But yes, I did indeed get laid last night
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