dude! the alphabet song and twinkle twinkle little star are like the same tune
what drug did you take to come to that conclusion??
At least with the last gf I made it clear that I wanted to breakup when I pissed on her floor @ 3am as her roommate watched in contempt
Wait, we're on the hunt for addys and explosives. They're both in this house somewhere.
Cant decide who was more of a mess the morning after... me when i passed out in the bathroom stall or you when you sprayed yourself down with hairspray thinking it was sunblock
You had sex with him even after he literally described himself as a "coldplay guy"? There's a line you just don't cross. There is a line.
i think i have weasels eating my brain. Also there is a skeleton staring at me from the back of the bathroom door. it's an awkward vomit. come find me please
And by go well you mean everyone's hammered right?
Yupp. And someone's bleeding
Gonna open a taco bell in colorado. Millions bro.
BURNT NIPPLES ARE UNHAPPY NIPPLES.
Suspicion confirmed. my mom has her nipples pierced
Way to crack the case Nancy Drew
Is it inappropriate to match with someone on tinder just to ask if the friend in his profile picture is single?
I JUST HAD TO SNORT THE REST OF MY BAG OF COKE BECAUSE THE BAG RIPPED IN THE WORK BATHROOM.
I'm guessing you feel amazing due to all the caps?
LETS GET THIS SHIT DONE. IM GONNA GET THIS SHIT DONE, FOREVER.
Well I'm nervous now about the consequences of letting you loose
It's a big decision, I respect that you need to think about it.
College is really paying off. I am gonna be a great teacher. I just made a grading sheet for weed. This shit got an A.
Omg I just smoked and it was the end so I basically got resin and death, my throat feels like the twilight vampire description of their thirst for blood
Randomize
