I can’t believe the potential orgy I left behind at Waffle House.
ejected that DVD during the department meeting.. it was our porn from last night. I have a new nick-name at work.
The old saying is "its not the size of the boat-- but the motion of the ocean" is obviously for those on the "Small side." I am of the belief that "You can't churn butter with a toothpick"
This just in: I met a girl who does the phone sex phone lines, and shes' 5'4" 320. I'll never get a hardon again through a phone.
So they discontinued the hummer... Now people will have to go door to door to let others know they're assholes
You missed out on a serious adventure. Cops were called. We put a chicken in someones house.
my knee is completely bruised from kneesliding into the bowling ball. bowling for creativity points was a win
Just a heads up, i'm sleeping in te back seat of your car so don't be freaked out when you see me in the A.M.
They were taking shots out of the caps of perfume bottles. This is too much for me.
I just woke up entirely naked on top of a pile of some guy's laundry on his bedroom floor.
Tommarow we shall sacrifice the freshmen to the sun god
Company sent me first class out of state, got so drunk on the plane I started handing out pillows and blankets to the people in coach
I'm scrolling through our convo thread and all we talk about is pizza, alcohol & dick with the occasional "I miss you" thrown in.
Even his sexts are poetic. He said breasts instead of tits so I'm gonna lock this shit down asap
Okay so my roommate deals some drugs so whenever he leaves we can hook up, be ready
I didn't know I was the on call booty call damn
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