youre lurking in front of me
yeah i just made her a character on oregon trail and i hope she gets dysentry and dies. that'll show her.
so he came on my face and then proceeded to say "that was just how i imagined it would happen"
where do you find these guys?
The dentist just called my mother to confirm the appointment that I made on his answering machine at 4:33 am this morning..
Just got laid for the first time in 3 yrs, 10 mo, 1 wk & 2 days. YESSSS.
He just did blow off my nipples. He's not serious about his girlfriend.
I wonder if her husband knows I have my own drawer at the apartment
The weekend is off to a good start: she just got into a verbal fight with a hobo. Nearly a fist fight.
SEXX, SEXX, SEXX,SEXX,SEX SEX SEXXXXXXX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEXSEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEX.\nimagine that to the can can song. also come to my house. theres a dance routine.
I don't know what was up he just kept sitting in his chair smoking weed and watching home movies all night it was weird as fuck.
Oh my fucking god how fucking embarrassing never again will I mix drugs at a family barbecue
Just made a bong out of a pineapple. So yes.. And champagne is about to be popped
75% of the time I swipe right on Bumble for girls over 40 is because I think their 18 year old daughter is hot.
He literally shoved the EMT, climbed in the back of the ambulance with his vodka and was like, "C'mon, people. Wrap this up. I got shit to do."
the only decorations on the Christmas tree were twinkle lights, condoms, and empty natty cans. I do love a classy holiday party
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