and next time when you feel me up, do it right
So what's the moral of this story? Aside from 'lesbians hold grudges'?
Some guy just bought a handle of cuervo, a curling iron, and a power drill. Paid with a jar of change. I'm torn between avoiding him and befriending him..
I think she was eating a cup of ramen noodles while we banged, or had a seizure
Is it possible to dent your eyeball? And how do you "accidentally" go cosmic bowling?
They set the pop up pool in the basement-running filter and all. Drunk swimming. Come now.
private study room at the lib turned into byob study room. that turned into battle royale and eric impaling his leg on a pen.
Breaking up as roommates was a poor life decision. I'm sorry. Thank you for never shitting on the floor.
Do you think I shall pursue this journey to the center if the dick?
It was everywhere. My dick was a sprinkler of lost future children.
I was so stoned last night I got into an argument with your voicemail message.
Let me rub your butt and eat French fries from your mouth and dip them in your ketchup filled belly button.
Blow jobs in the hobby lobby parking lot, oh lawd there gonna pray for me when they review those tapes ...
I woke up with leftover chocolate syrup on my nipples. WTF happened last night??
I'm praying to the gods of sex we both get laid this weekend. Amen. Love you
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