My bra smells like weed because there's weed in my bra
dude i dnt kno how, but i think theres a tampon in my butt
Now that I'm 21, I feel like I'm letting North Dakota down by not being drunk everyday
my mom just found my flavored lube in the basement. she gave me a lecture about how "giving head is degrading" omg i feel sooooo bad for my dad
you wore rainboots all night because you said the forecast called for wine spillage
No worries you cant actually turn into a wine snob if you brew it in your closet....
Are we responsible for the snowmen doing it doggy-style in my front yard?
She made me go down the fire escape when her mom came for breakfast.
When the cops come you probably shouldn't be poking cars with a stick.
Free tacos and bad night are never used in the same sentence
Omg. Some dude is jacking off in Kelly's bathroom.
you are like the bill nye of illicit activities
Her instagram is literally selfies, cats, and guys she's fucked.
Dude. Don't do acid and go to Disney on ice. Hear my warnings. That snow monster will fuck your shit up.
He fucked me while I was smoking his blunt. His apartment was trashed and he drives a van that looks like it’s been hit by a train but still 10/10 would fuck again.
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