No subtext here. People are naked.
I'm going to come in a little later this morning....there's no heterosexual way to say this....$1 flip flop sale at old navy
Sure, fine. Daughter just told me she is not a virgin anymore. I am gonna start drinking now
Would the plural word for douche be deese? "Look at these deese bags"?
Are you high?
I don't know what happened to get you in this mentality. This time last year your were ass up on a hotel bathroom counter getting licked by a stranger.
Moral of the story: If you're gonna throw a glass of wine in a guy's face, don't do it in your own kitchen.
im still going. this is my new reality. also. dont take glowsticks in the bath. they explode. actually. do. it. its beautiful.
i dont think thats healthy man...
Just made a Xanax and ginger ale smoothie. Oh Thursday you are good to me..
I think my hookup is starting to fall for me. Time to break his heart.
Does Jim keep sending you pics of him in drag too???? If so, are you also slightly uncomfortable?
Actually, I take that back. You can only have it if I'm allowed to French braid the mullet.
We watched the first ever season of SNL and fucked for so long. He accidentally punched me in the face, but I mean, John Belushi was the background noise of our sex. I can deal with it.
Do you ever just feel the storm building inside of you that tells you you're ready for a giant indiscriminate fuckfest?
My friend Julia's mom just called her to say she got a puzzle in the mail made of cheese and when she put it together it spelled FUCK YOU and she doesn't know who it's from.
It was rocky mountain showdown of course we got shitfaced and talked about eating buffaloes
Randomize
