he wasnt completely random
you're right. you met him once and didnt know his name. you still dont
i get things done.
Sometimes when I see pregnant women, I wonder what position they were in when they got knocked up. Then I gag a little.
She got a tattoo in memory of her cat, my attratcion to her is no more.
I have a pocket in my purse that is just for condoms and cocktail swords. I feel like that speaks volumes about me as a person
I'm just going to say , cocktail races are not for a Wednesday night maybe not even a Friday type of deal
We were walking up the stairs and I asked Dominick what floor the party was on. The cop who had just tried breaking it up was walking down the stairs, drinking a slurpee, and answered, "Third floor."
He told me he loved me. I didn't know what to say so i just squirted the baby oil at him
I swear the toilet was so cold I tried to stand up but my balls wer frozen to it. most awkward five minutes between me and my mom.
We played table tennis, but used tv remotes taped to our foreheads instead of paddles. Every time your opponent scored you took a shot. I'm the current champion as of last night.
The only person more miserably hungover from the party is the dog, and that's because he ate some balloons
i put frozen meatballs in my drink thinking they were ice cubes and I'm vegetarian wtf
its weird getting into a political debate with a pony dressed as an anime character online
He was like 120 lbs and 20 of that was penis
Just got done being naked and Mooning the cops. I'm still alive. Let's drink.
That's the only way to watch Gumby. Either age 5 or high.
Randomize
