I ate one of your animal crackers. just one. ok four. but no frosting. ok frosting.
She's holding my hand. I'm going to kill myself.
On my way home from Vegas. Just realized my pants are inside out
i don't understand how she was down there for so long, she's like a mermaid, a blowjob giving mermaid.
Not till Sunday. I'm going to sleep in my car. And I know. This place is insane. Blood on the stAirs 5 dollar slices of pizza. A girl on our floor had a stroke.
Unintentionally made him cum in his own mouth, and he just sat there screaming..
You called in. Quitter. You stayed at home naked drinking again didnt you.
at one point he couldn't find his underwear so he put on my catsuit to go to the bathroom
it wasnt even considered partying. it was like "ok, who can get the most shitfaced and not pass out"
Rush week is fine, only the t-shirts are white and if it rains, the frat boys in their lawn chairs will be treated to 800 freshmen girls in their first wet tshirt contest.
Welcome to college.
We did a lot of coke and Bedazzled the couch. It seemed like a good idea at the time.
took over 12 bombs tonight and we still aren't hooking up. Wait how am I functioning
As we have told you before, the first rule of hook-up bingo is we don't talk about hook-up bingo
She's eating hot cheetos out of the bag with chopsticks, Matt, how is she NOT my soulmate?
i didnt realize that your first thought would be SEXUALIZING BREAD
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