Would you feel weird if I asked out ___?
You dont call on our son's bday but you want to know if I'll give you permission to date my best friend?
So...no?`
god, you should never be in the FBI. you'd give away america's secrets to any boy who asked.
Btw, I'm really high so I apologize if anything I say gets translated into arabic.
She eyed me up from across the bar and mouthed "I have no gag reflex".
Well, let's be honest here. You're dealing with gay guys... EVERYTHING has an emotional attachment.
Ifound a recepit for a hotel room in my sock. soo.. Ithink thats where my dog is.
we ran out of cups so i finished the night drinking out of a paint can.
No it's cool, He's been doing my English papers in exchange for lap dances since the eleventh grade. We're very professional.
Laying in bed nude eating a Big Mac with a cat. It's gonna be a good year.
Tell me I'm the only person you know who could punch someone at the bar, get escorted out, smoke a cig with the cop who almost arrested me AND get the security guy who escorted me out to buy me drinks.
I'm more worried that you thought licking a pole on Bourbon street would turn me on
I love how four vibrators are within reach of me right now, but not a single hair brush or comb
she texted me 'with freud,' which i thought was drunk for 'i'm with my friend.' but nope, she was actually on a statue of the psychologist sigmund freud.
I skipped the handshake and went right for a dickshake I had him minutes after I saw him.
got some info she was last seen with some guy wearing goggles
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