i really like this girl i slept with last night
you ask her out again?
yeah but she said she is busy next weekend getting married
If I were trying to take advantage of you I would have maxed out all your credit cards by now.
Girls only wine night turned into a sloppy drunk lesbian orgy again
there is no excuse for him not showing up to my st. patrick's day party. i touch his dick. i get him on the high holidays.
Your brother came in a girls mouth for the first time last night... Ah the tales told whilst buying minors beer.
I was pissed last night bc this girl didn't want to have sex but offered to reimburse me for the condoms. That just made me upset
He pissed on a police station. Then expected to not be arrested. Sounds accurate.
When did angry sex become our thing?
Also, we found a geriatric Snoop Lion.
We're super invested in me shitting to my full potential
Have I showed you the picture of my vagina with a little bang flag coming out of it?
Just had a reminder come up that just said "Ham"
Told a guy at the bar I was hurricane evacuees with no place to stay. Just woke up at his place. God bless Florence
Why is there a condom in my ukulele?
Who is naked dude in the kitchen?
Randomize
