i do not condone bathtub ky wrestling
If im going to fail a midterm I might as well be drunk while I do it
great, thanks for announcing that I gave you head over twitter
at least I said it was good
seriously who else gets carried home puking from a fucking mary kay party?
They told me you were taking cheese cube shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce... Is this true?
Would it be weird if I told you I thought of you when I masturbated?
Looks like I'm more than just your Mexico mistake...
I was ready to fuck him until he pulled the "I might be bi curious" card. Now its turned into a guilt fuck. It's like he's a 3rd world child in need of a sexual orientation.
Dude i don't know we had to beg the bouncer to let us in because you were bleeding everywhere and he saw you run into a dumpster
I think your dick broke my retainer, I normally wouldnt care but my orthodontist died and I don't want my first appt to be blow job broken retainer with a new ortho.
A guy with the name Pootie Tang winked st me and a guy that doesn't speak English messaged me. These are my choices?
I feel my soul being ripped out of my eye sockets
Classic dick move. Breaking up your buddies 3-some by coming into his room and doing the Harlem Shake.
I gave him morning sex, a bag of cookies, and dropped him off at work. I believe I deserve the "best hookup award."
Hmmm... I thought we agreed as a group we make our last stand in Philly...
I don't wanna go out like that. Covered in melted cheese smelling like a sewer rat...
probably because i sent a bunch of guys a snap saying happy one year to my nipple piercings
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