Moving to Utah. Got sick of alcohol and have a severe wife shortage.
new number. flushed my phone last night when i puked, made B help me look for it for 2 hours.
you handed me the dorito you were about to eat and told me to 'keep him safe' while you went to the bathroom
Is tonight a drink a little and reminisce kinda night, or a drink everything and pray kinda night?
he was inside of, then got up said "we don't want you having a baby," grabbed his car keys and left. so now i'm just sitting on his bed, wondering if he's coming back.
Fried chicken is a must. Do strippers eat fried chicken or should I plan on something else?
How are you going to come here and fuck on our couch ? That's everyones couch
Please assure him that the flying penis statue is for display purposes only.
Is 28 too old to get fingered in Centennial Park? Asking for a friend.
we talked about the guy being eaten by the anaconda.. Then I proceeded to blow him
Yeah, I mean I'll probably fuck him regardless but I'm trying to be a lady about it.
I'm sorry I was just sleeping on the kitchen floor I'm too dead to think
Yes ma'am. I'm attracted to unconventional people, you know that.
True. I can't judge, half of my sexual partners I only know a false first name & a number. We all have our kinks.
I threw up all of my purple drank and thats really important
I think my moral compass just broke
Randomize
