U know its gonna be a great day when the guy at the liquor store waves at u cause u walked by
And, I saw Emily's panties. How? She doesn't sit like a lady.
I can’t believe the potential orgy I left behind at Waffle House.
I've been practicing for you. Including stockpiling medical supplies for curing hangovers.
He titled his birthday party on facebook, "BJ's in PJ's- an adult slumber party." I'm the only one invited.
Maybe he'll be famous someday and I can forget that anything embarrassing may have happened and just say that I fucked that famous guy.
you guys just sat there and simultaneously smoked bowls staring at each other... it was like a bowl off or something.
If there was a tv show called "True Life: My 58 Year Old Dad Rolls Better J's Than Me" I'd be on it.
dude, my hangover is telling me there was tequila involved
Guys, as my favorite vagina consultants I have to share something.
My professional advice is not to put lemons in your lady pocket.
I appreciate having someone to objectively critique my dick pics.
I'm 4,715,723% sure I don't give a fuck.
One minute we're singing Wagon Wheel, and the next you're belly dancing in a trash bag on the beer pong table
on a scale from 1 to "can't put a toothbrush in your mouth without gagging" how hungover are you?
Look, if it comes down to it, I’m spraying whipped cream on your nuts
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