Did you REALLY have to twitter about our sex last night?
i effin hate jeff goldbloom.
but i totally would still bang him
dude. we need more in our fridge then just beer and applesauce.
Its only fair we share our golden vaginas with the world. It would be selfish if we didn't.
I just threw up on the floor. And we're gonna fuck on the beer pong table, so keep everyone upstairs.
I fucking give up. OKC is where small penises go to disappoint me.
I heard that clinking noise from behind me and I already knew you were whipping out a Smirnoff in class. Again.
if drunk means calling me and asking to borrow the game of life at 2am then I think you were drunk
You threw up in your own shoe then wore it home
I got high and had sex with reindeer antlers on. It was magical and animalistic. Tia the season.
I feel like I should be having more sex dreams of my boyfriend than his sister..
Quickly hiding the condom wrappers, ropes, and handcuffs right before the parents arrive to help with moving out? Priceless.
Give me like 5, I have to feed a moose and find my pants.
woke up with 4 bruises, 2 hickies and a bad case of rug burn. texans are dangerous.
i’n just gonna forge ahead, gag reflex be DAMNED.
Randomize
