Dude?? where did you go after Wildcats last night? Last I heard you went off with one of the girls we danced with?
Negative - This is his GF, Bobby is in Jail for a DUI. Thanks for the info.
feel weird hangin out with you now that i've eaten your sister out
I woke up naked this morning there was a baseball bat on the floor the bathroom door knob was removed and the floor was wet. This is why i don't do Tequila shots.
I wore my underwear in the shower just in case i passed out and you had to come in and get me
well what she called a "work function" most people call "doing shots with your boss while people throw napkins at you."
The night took a downhill turn when he started using a butter knife as a spoon to drink his cosmo
let's just say I never want to get pulled over and have to explain to the cop why I'm wearing a false beard again.
I'm trying on my bridesmaid dress so that I can determine what will need to be done to achieve getting fucked while wearing it.
This morning I learned I traded my sunglasses for a Big Lebowski sticker at the football game.
You were convinced you would hurt my car if you opened the door. Then you barfed in the pretzle bucket Peter gave you
While leaving the bar with another guy I told the bouncer I was sad his friend had a fiancee
You were drinking Everclear weren't you?
My dad slapped my ass the other day and say I was "doing the family name good". I feel...proud
Woke up with two different pairs of pants in the pockets of a jacket.None of the above are mine.
I rocked his world in the back of my car in an overly-lit, heavily trafficked parking lot. Middle age is amazing!
I dont even remember what i was saying but just one minute i was crying and the next i was showing u my genitals
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