physics? naw man, teacher told us it was casual friday, so i decided to be super casual and not go.
do you ever just like the smell of your farts?
You were so trashed that when you dropped your fruit rollup on the floor, you just sat next to it and cried.
im flying all the way to minnesota to see him for four days... cutest-best-friend-reunion or most-epic-booty-call-ever?
who says it cant be both...
i've been thru my totinos phase. then after reading the ingredients and nutritional info i almost puked in my mouth. its like having the bastard child of pizza hut and mcdonalds invade your kitchen and start stabbing your digestive system.
When you're opening a bottle of tequila with a golf club, it's probably time to stop drinking...
He managed to completely creep out every girl I was with last night. It was almost inspiring how efficient it was.
Just calculated that for my last final tomorrow I need 120% to improve my grade and 53% to keep it..buying 30 packs now, go get dressed
Just found my shirt from Saturday, got an automatic contact buzz.
Year anniversary in a month. Think I'll just give him a COME ON MY FACE FREE card. I'm both broke and shameless.
ROOF CAVED IN, WE'RE GUNNA MAKE A WATERSLIDE
Might be time to reevaluate my life. Banned from red roofs inns. Apparently I puked in ice machine. 3 hotels in a year.
I sold him an eighth while trippin balls wearin my girlfriends tutu and tube top. and i was talking about albinos the entire time
well, he defiantly picked the right guy to buy drugs from
I feel like I deserve an award for facing my fear of penises in my face.
I was at the pharmacy picking up my herpes medication and the pharmacist asked if I had any questions about my medicine, looked at the bottle, and laughed. Insult to injury man.
Randomize
