Dude, hurry and get over. I need a wingman. She is on her 6th vodka shot and her resident ugly friend is still sober
I had to rush to my room and get my vibrator off my bed i didn't want him to know how long it's been since I had a decent fuck.
She's doing hand stands on the train as I type. Idk if I'm impressed it embarrassed. Or turned on.
Instead of sending me a picture of his dick, he sent me a drawing of it on drawsomething. This game is getting out of control.
Its official vodka lemonade jager and whiskey with coorslight is a bad combination of try to forget the work week cocktail ps bring alkaseltzer
It feels like I'm being stabbed in the uterus with a rake. That night was totally worth it though. Thanks.
Is "sorry I booted you out mid-fuck last night" a good icebreaker?
I need to find out this kids work schedule. I need mustache rides on my lunchbreaks.
My life has come to reading articles about dating an ex heroin addict. I'm doing well.
I don't even remember what he looks like. All I know is he's 6 foot 100. I like that.
$1 drinks and Playboy theme. I am never leaving this place
I just ordered $70 worth of pizza and I'm not even ashamed. Happy Valentine's Day to me.
Can we get pizza? This is seriously not a booty call. I just really want someone to get pizza with me.
I just got promised sex at a fire station tonight so basically all my porn star dreams are coming true.
He sent me a pic of his coffee mug to be like "I'm having coffee too.” \nImagine that. Morning coffee. In your boring ass mug. Dick pic or gtfo.
Randomize
