i fell off the bed in the middle of it, and he yelled "5 second rule" and kept fucking me. i think im in love
He saw my tits then looked up and yelled thank you jesus as loud as he could
My water bill is like twice the normal amount. I need a boyfriend.
Do I even want to know?
Hey its the Filipino guy from last night. I just wanted to say sorry my friend bled all over your driveway. Great party though.
just shottied a beer can with a pumpkin carver. i love October.
Soooo how am i supposed to explain to my mom that i was admitted to the hospital but you kidnapped me within 20 minutes?
As added birth control I warned him that if he knocked me up tonight I would name the baby Truck.
it wasnt even considered partying. it was like "ok, who can get the most shitfaced and not pass out"
Also when i was high i would close my eyes and see a puppy on a grill having pancake batter poured on it.... And for whatever reason it was fucking hilarious.
So this whole chlamydia situation totally puts a damper on my back to school sex schedule, there's just no way of knowing who of them was the perpetrator... Time for new candidates
Due to last night I think a roommate constitution should be made. The first law will be designed to prevent any chicks below a 4 to enter the house.
Don't need my thirties to be known as the decade of "new types of shits from drinking" like last night.
You're an independent woman who is defined by her own actions and not by whether or not you have a man. You also have great tits.
The gate guard just said to me, "I almost didn't recognize you in uniform. Welcome back." I think I need to lay off the booze.
He ate me out in a limo while we were driving home. I love bars being open again!
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