Yah man, that place is surreal
Man, I'm from Tennessee. What the fuck is surreal?
i guess. but if i can salvage this and still somehow see you naked i feel like that's a win
how did we ever eat at restaurants where they DIDNT squirt-gun tequila in our mouths?
She told me she cured her bulemia by popping hydrocodone after she ate. that way she would be rewarded for not puking. I like the way she thinks
Yo I'm texting you while getting a bj. I know, I'm the man. Told her I was texting my mom in the hospital.
Because its an amazing idea and you're the only one I can think of that will allow a pirate threesome
i noticed he has a cardboard window on his car and he told me he locked his keys in his car and had to break in...this only makes him more appealing
you fucked my boyfriend. margarita girls night will not fix this.
I actually want to hang out with her with our clothes on. That's a big step up for me.
you just stood there spinning and got mad if anyone tried to stop you
she trying to cartwheel up the stairs... not going so well
We tried the hang n bang, remember? You ruined it by crying and telling me you loved me while blowing me.
Pretty good. Thinking about getting day drunk and filling out job applications so I don't hate myself as much
Comedy Central is in dire need of more sitable faces late at night - Trevor Noah has a baby face - there are federal rules against those types of sexual fantasies
I swear to God...this day is one great big who's who in the land of fucked uppedness.
Randomize
