she cant drink. allergic to alcohol.
ewwww. she might as well have a dick.
Honestly there's alot of things I'm confused about the only thing I know for certain about last night is that I ate pizza
this girl just gave me her phone number and 5 mins later right in front of me she is giving her number to another dude
call her and ask her what she thinks she's doing
so i think im going to actually use my calories on food today instead of beer.
He thanked me for being "his little blond pogo stick last night". Good thing?
so when he was about to cum, he screamed his mother's name and continued to pray for forgiveness. wtf
I keep hearing lesbian porn and I'm the only one home. I don't think this is healthy
I wish there were birth control emojis
So coach him. No guy wants to admit being unsure of something in bed. It's a man-law or something.
You left your underwear in a sandwich bag on my kitchen counter.
So just what does one wear when attending a sex toy party with ones mother-in-law?
Jeans and a nice top.
Those nachos came to me in a dream
Certain restrictions may apply. Common side effects of sex with me include unbridled joy, a healthy glow, soreness and the inability to walk for short to long amounts of time. If any of these side effects occur please consult your physician, so he/she can prescribe me a "high-five".
Juice tastes so weird without alcohol
There's a Russian superstition that you'll spend your year the way you celebrate New Year's, so I'm honestly not that surprised you're drunk.
Randomize
