butt plug
anus plug
rubbish cock?
yes
you suck at this game today
after he passed out we removed everything electronic from his room, stuck in some old books and an ancient typewriter from goodwill. for 20 min. we had him convinced he'd drunk himself backward in time.
Bad idea. College students cannot afford both alcohol and a cat. Unless said cat is irish, and can feed itself with fifths of whisky.
It smells like someone died in our apartment and ya'll used some random orifice of his body to smoke weed out of. Side note, how did we get a guitar?
Incoming: this is a booty call. To accept, please reply with an appropriate time. To reject, please reply "N" and the information will be filed for future reference.
Well girls crying gets you hard so you're not really a good standard to me
i threw up in his garden in front of like five people smoking a joint. they let me have a hit after i was done so it was okay
Sorry. Not doing life today. Love to. But can't.
My boss followed me on Twitter. Excuse me while I delete 90% of my tweets
It's amazing where one well timed dick pic can get you in life.
YOU HAVE PISSED AND FUCKED ON LITERALLY EVERYTHING IN MY HOUSE
Not everything, just a few things. And only a few times. The odds are really not all that bad when you break it down.
you’ve pissed every time you slept over. there’s no such thing as odds anymore. it’s guaranteed
And for today's main disappontment. I thought I saw a midget with fireworks get on the buss, alas it's a child with cleaning supplies
I just watched my high school guidance counselor pee in the backyard of this party.
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
She told us she had powers and that eating tree bark cures the shits.
Randomize
