I could write a book called "things that come out of my vagina"
There is now a Twilight themed dildo. What do YOU want for christmas??
I may or may not have melted a dent into the top of my minifridge with my hot glue gun, which I left on for the past couple hours unsupervised, while we were on our salvo/savers excursion. Welcome to Halloween in college.
I feel like i made up for not being able to drink on St Pattys Day, Mardi Gras, and last years Cinco De Mayo. That hungover.
You know what sound is wonderful for a hangover? Listening to the horns from the South Africans at the world cup
one of the cashiers from Kroger is eating at my kitchen table and nobody knows why.
currently shading my boobs to make it look like i have mass cleavage...thanks art school
I promise it'll work. Just go there and keep the lights off and keep saying blaowww. She'll think your me.
Thanksgiving. This year's theme: I am thankful that I still have a liver.
She just asked me if I was looser "in the vagina" than her. While gyrating.
I'm training him to sit when I whistle the tune from the hunger games. I'm going to be the coolest parent ever.
Can you have a quarter life crisis another time? I'm trying to masterbate.
I don't remember his name. I had whataburger on my mind and in my hands so I wasnt really listening
My saturday night consisted of sewing my Halloween costume and watching Blues Clues
You actually...sewed your costume?
is it bad that I'm more worried about having to take out my piercings than the fact that I might be having a kid
Randomize
