I thnk I just saw a monkey walking a drunk guy.
holy crap !! There is a MIDGET FAMILY in one of my rooms today !
How much trouble would you get into if you were to stomp down the hallway while loudly saying 'Fe Fi Fo Fum...'
People are suprisingly accepting of someone doing a walk of shame in a toga...
nothing says "we're all in this together" like the herpes she passed around to our entire group of friends
Wow. He pulled out his dick and I swear I heard a thud from it hitting the floor.
do you think theyll let us bring mariachis to the strip club?
I'm hungover in the park, and some guy just handed me a business card for his church. I can feel Jesus' disapproval running through my fingertips
The walk of shame out of a freshman dorm isn't so bad when you're 25, nobody questions you because they think youre gonna bust them for having weed
Your whole purpose in life is to just float around and satisfy lonely women and also join lesbian couples in threesomes.
And then I cried about the Cubs for a half hour. If my dignity hadn't already been lost by that point in the night, it sure as hell was then.
So... crashing at the hot bartender's place is not a solid marital decision.
Oh dude I know. When something that's supposed stop pregnancies taste like chocolate something's up
The whole time we were hanging out my vagina was yelling at me like its a real live penis that wants to have sex with us what are you doing
Stumbled out of my bed this morning into the bathroom at 8 am still drunk, obviously. The Mormon on my floor was in the bathroom. I could practically hear her doing hail marys for me.
She made me keep my boots on and say "you're welcome darlin" after every orgasm......so yes it was an awesome night.
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