am i morally bankrupt?
no. its just the recession
just hang any plant up and call it mistletoe.
i called her out for picking her nose in public and he still wonders why i don't like her!
And now that i don't feel so bad because you're not pregnant the $15 for the pregnancy test I bought would be appreciated
They live so far away from me that not fucking them both would have been financially irresponsible
I SWALLOWED her nuva ring. Please tell me how your night could have been worse.
Dnt forget 40 tuesday,dress nice! Like job interview nice, like funeral nice, like a couple muhfuckas sittin on their lawn drinkin forties on a tuesday nice!
Nothing gets you judged faster than having cum in your hair at the gas station.
We tried to make ramen in a glass bowl on the stove. They called facilities to pick the glass out of the door
He is indeed a crazy mutha fucka. But mark my words. MARK MY WORDS. My job has placed me at the same party as Tom Cruise. I. Am. Fucking. The. Crazy. Out. Of . That. Alien . Fucker.
The "don't have sex with him again" alerts you set on my phone just started going off.
Good. "Seriously, don't do it" should start in about five minutes.
I'm sorry your Amazon says buttplugs now
I already left my house once this summer. Maybe we could do something in October.
Thinking about licking your asshole. And hugs and stuff too I guess.
Harry Potter pub crawl tonight. You know you're living your life right when your check list for the evening is wizard robes, wand and acid.
Randomize
