Shit. Come in my room. Bring a trashcan and an icepack
He literally is quoting that 21 questions song, the 50 cent one. oh my god.
went thru the pain of a Brazilian and he's passed the fuck out while i eat Doritos and watch tbs. fuck married life i want out
I also referred to her clitorous as her "vagina dot" last night...probably going to be dumped soon.
I just dropped off shoes at Mike's hotel. The chick he hooked up with last night stole his phone and shoes.
He probably has his cowboy hat on, that's his house hat.
dude, i warned you that using a card to pay for my hotel room was a bad idea. You deserve the extra $600 in cleaning fees
He bought segways. We ride them when we get drunk. Last night he ran through the sliding glass door.
her spring break bucket list included "break into The Swamp, blow him where Tebow has Tebowed"
If we can put a man on the moon, I'm sure we can turn a pringles can into a bong.
My hand smells like rave and peanut butter.
Kelly and I just had sex, and you didn't call or text to interrupt, are you alive? We are both concerned.
She was nothing like her profile said, we had nothing in common, and her picture mustve been like 30 pounds ago. But yeah we hooked up
No i dont need a babysitter i have my cats. Cats can dial 911 ya know
So I thought you might like to hear how I went to sams club to print some pictures and suddenly there was 20 pictures of your dick and my snatch on the screen
Randomize
