Don't put random dicks in your mouth or any other crevice for that matter... and i'm home in 30 seconds
Wish I got that text last night instead of this morning.
It sucks..Now I'm depressed because appearence wise, she's the closest to my favorite pornstar I'll ever get..
Yeah I hope so. Definately just saw two freshmen in very authentic togas and cotton ball beards. This new class is stepping it up.
Pretty sure I blacked out the last 48 hours, the last thing I remember is the 4 pm bar crawl on Thurs
Can you believe they're going to let me be a doctor?
He just asked me to pee through my panties while he watched. I might need more tequila for this one.
He needs to stop telling me how much he respects me. What does that even mean
You don't put off sexcapades. Life lesson #1.
Plus it's a good way to scope out guys. Have them fight for you, like real males do in nature.
So the doorbell rang while we were banging, and I'm pretty sure the pizza man saw my dick. But hey, we got pizza.
Come get your pancakes and take a nap in my boobs.
If its not for food we ain't going out.
We were so amazed while watching mission impossible ghost protocol last night we didn't even have sex
The girl at the liquor store remembered me as "the girl who pays in hundreds" so she didn't ID me
I'm declaring this weekend Captain Morgan weekend
You declare every weekend Captain Morgan weekend...
You just don't understand... :'(
Come over I need help. I just almost died in an acid flashback while listening to do You Feel Like We Do off of the Frampton Comes Alive album.
Randomize
