We stole some shitttt from king sooper's. fuck yeaaa
what did you steal
frozen pizza, cat litter, and preperation H. not much different than my usual grocery list.
be a good friend and just tell me i'm not pregnant
Grab the Coors Light. Its time to get NASCAR drunk
but instead of smelling like hand cream and homemade cookies, she smells like a yeast infection.
i think you're the only person in the world who masturbates to food network.
We just saw him running from campus police a few minutes ago. So no, I don't think he's still passed out on the quad.
Come help me clean. I know we won't be getting our security deposit back...but I would like to move out with our dignity.
Just quiet vomiting, and in between heaves she mumbled "be the pro"
You and the dog were competed for the water dish
I can't tell if my roommate is crying or having sex and the fact that there's anime in the background is only making this more confusing
Be quiet or buzz aldrin will come beat you up with science
I can't believe just smoked out of a pear
I can't believe you had a pear already made to smoke out of, that was impressive
I started keeping track of my period when I realized you had a better grasp of it than me.
You had sex with a Scottish dude with a peg leg....how could I NOT tell that story??
His 89 y/o father walked in on us. Judging by the gasp/moan, I don't think the 1920s prepared him to see another dude inside his son.
Randomize
