toast her oven
toast her strudel
inspect her gadget
Well I'm going to a gay club in my banana suit. You should come. My bro is going as a pirate. I don't know if there's a theme.
the best thing about dollar beer night is beer is only a dollar.
Is it sad i was sitting here thinkin how i would only fuck Rob Pattinson if he was glittery at said time.
If everyone lived like me, we would need 5.9 earths. Fuck yes america.
remember what we learned. dont lure girls w/ food at the bar. u dont want those ones
Got drunk. Then they sung "we didnt start the fire" to my other cousin who accidentally burnt down the house when she was younger.
Hes still mad that I left the room mid-hookup to go get a pickle from the fridge.
it's a gatorade, cheez its, and regret kind of morning....
I thought that u needed a break due the fact that your nipples were bleeding
and I believe it was when I was running to class to take a test still drunk in my Halloween costume that I realized I have reached that point in the semester where I just don't give a flying fuck anymore.
What's a good pandora station to masturbate to?
Honestly who turns down a free blowjob?
His dick has the same name as my pipe. I'm keeping him forever.
whenever dudes said you had nice tits you'd scream at them "This double push-up bra is full of deceit and lies!"
Randomize
